A NEW NORMAL

The words we speak matter. Most people understand that words can build up the same as they can tear down. I was talking to my boys this week about the words they say to each other, the tone in which they say those words, and the importance of manning that watch. 

I remember a hilarious / horrific story that happened during one of our first weeks in Zambia.  The missionaries that we were staying with had a pool in their backyard and one Sunday it was being used for a baptism, so dozens of people came and filled the backyard.  My sons were swimming when everyone started to arrive, and my Eli was swimming in socks for some reason.  As he was taking his socks off a woman from the church came over and said, “wow you’re so cute and so fat!” 

Eli, who was seven at the time, did not understand that saying “You’re fat” is not a cut down in Zambian culture. He took it literally and didn’t like the sentiment, so before I could dive over there in slow motion like the movies, he took that soaking wet sock and swung for her head.  That sock wrapped around her face, and it shocked her more than it hurt her. I apologized profusely and I whisked Eli into the house and away from the crowd, knowing that he had two socks and was ready to use the other one as well.  The words we speak matter.

I also remembered a few powerful junctures in my life where the words of an admired and trusted mentor were game changers and encouraged me deep down in my spirit.  That encouragement spilled into real life, day after day, year after year.   

There’s a man named Mike McGregor that I’ve looked up to for more than 20 years. I met him when I worked at a church in Los Angeles, California.  He was in his 40’s and I was in my early 20’s, so we were at different phases of our lives, but I was paying attention because it seemed like Mike could do anything. I noticed everyone wanted to talk to Mike.  Men lined up to have coffee with him and have Mike talk to them and speak into their lives.  I recognized that he had raised amazing kids who are some of the most joyous and joy-filled people I know…all of whom, I’m proud to call my friends.  And I could see that Mike had a deep love for his wife, who is still his best friend to this day.  Mike hunted leopards, built the most beautiful houses, restored Chevy Chevelles, and on top of all that, he had a deep and rich relationship with Jesus.  

We went on a mission trip together in 2001. It was my first time serving in Africa.  Some wild stuff happened on that trip — good and bad — and I learned a lot about cross-cultural ministry, team leadership, interpersonal diplomacy, and about myself. 

 When we got back, Mike wrote me an email that was simply two lines, but I printed it out and still have it hanging in my office today.  He basically said, “Chris, I watched you on this trip and you’ve got what it takes to be a great missionary.” Mike is genuine and he knew what a good missionary was. He grew up on the mission field. His dad was a renowned missionary. He had traveled all over the world and for him to speak that to me, was like wind in my sails. I started to believe I had what it took and could become a great missionary.  And now, each time I speak to Mike, he reminds me that he is praying for me daily!  More encouragement! More wind in the sails!  More genuine, well-used words!  What a gift!

Another mentor named Bob Goff, who I’ve never met, but I’ve spoken to on the phone, encouraged me in a way that carried me into the season wherein my family moved to Zambia.  Goff wrote a bestselling book called Love Does and sold over one million copies. Surprisingly, he put his personal cell number in the back of the book, too!  SO naturally, I called him — half out of curiosity as to whether he’d actually answer or not — and half because I really wanted to see what makes a guy like Bob tick.  He answered!  As we spoke, I told him my wife and I and our four young sons were moving to Zambia to be part of a kids’ revolution and show the value of kids and youth to the church. Bob asked if he could pray for us.  During that prayer, Goff said, “I pray that this adventurous love would become a new normal for this family.”   

We have never spoken since, but I’ve never forgotten those words.  They actually became true too!  Missions, living overseas, international travel, and cross-cultural learning has become the norm for the Kohn family. My son Owen is in his second year of university, and he had to choose an internship for the summer.  Most kids in his class chose a Gila River trout internship three hours from here, Owen chose to apply in northern Madagascar and fly across the world on his own to be part of something in Africa where he has roots. My other sons, Eli & Liam, work tirelessly to make our youth ministry tick.  We do ministry as a family. It’s our normal. 

Lions speak powerful words into other people’s lives and create brand new normals.  

Reflect this week on who has spoken encouragement into your life and thank God for them.  Reflect also on who you could call or write a note to. It might just be perfect timing, and the words you speak might carry them through a hard time or propel them into their own brand new normal.  Do it today.  You’ve got what it takes.