Last weekend, a few of my boys and I traveled up to Albuquerque, NM, where I joined my friend and fellow HFTW Youth team member, Jacob Aguirre, for a race unlike anything I’d done before. It’s called Outlast, and it consists of a 5Km run, every hour, for six hours. That’s an 18-mile day, broken up into 6 portions. One 5K at a time!
I love to challenge myself and I love to run, but this race humbled me. It honestly felt harder than the full marathon distance! I try and run roughly 30 miles each week, and I figured that would carry me, but this format was different, and I was unprepared. By the end of the 5th 5K, my calf muscle cramped up so hard I went down. My boys came to check on me and brought water. Other runners stopped to offer electrolyte chews and even prayer, too! They were so kind. And when the calf muscle was done locking me down I got up and finished that lap with plenty of time.
But now, there was only one remaining 5K distance to cover in order to finish. I never considered quitting and knew I could walk the distance in under an hour, so I did. But I was frustrated with myself. I had to walk slow, as the muscle threatened repeatedly to cramp again. I was frustrated with my body not holding up. I was frustrated by the people who kept passing me. I ended up finishing under time and earning my finisher medal. I’m glad I finished but I wasn’t able to do it the way I had hoped. Disappointment and dehydration were not what I pictured at the finish line!
But now, I have an opportunity to heal up and get back to the trails. I don’t know if I’ll ever run race of this specific format again; it really did feel brutal. But I know that I can better prepare for whatever is next by mixing up my training and my morning runs. Adding hills, adding sprints. Next time I wouldn’t go in cold either. I’d actually do a few practice days of the whole entire actual format that I’m getting myself into, before race day.
All that to say, disappointment is just an unfortunate part of life. I am grateful that some of the greatest Bible heroes also faced disappointment. And the stakes were much higher than an Albuquerque desert race. Disappointment is when our reality doesn’t align with our expectations. I had planned that race day out in my head, and things just didn’t pan out the way I thought. That led to some regret and sadness.
But one thing I have learned is that if my inner peace only exists when things go my way, I will always be at war with reality. It’s OK to feel disappointment, but it’s not OK to get stuck and stay there. Because disappointment can easily turn into hopelessness and become chronic. God is too kind. Life is too rich, and the future is too bright to just get hopeless and disappointed to the point of never trying again or never running again. It’s also helpful having a sweet wife to speak encouragement and perspective!
Lions, we must choose faith over fear and then we must get up and go to war with our disappointment — we must get moving again.
Jocko Willink says, “action is the antidote to all kinds of problems.” I believe that to be true so I’m not gonna throw in the towel in my running or when I get down in life. I am going to press through the disappointment and get busy building back and improving.
The Apostle Paul said it best in 2 Corinthians 4:7-9…” We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed but not driven to despair. We are hunted down but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.
Lions don’t let disappointment keep them down.